My Haunted House Read online

  I just grabbed hold of him and pulled him along with me. "You can come out now!" I yelled to Edmund, who had been sulking in the secret passage. He floated out. "Who's that, Minty?" Uncle Drac asked me when he saw Edmund. "That's Edmund, Uncle Drac. And if you can't get Aunt Tabby to change her mind about selling our house, he's going to scare those people away. " Uncle Drac kept looking behind him as Edmund followed us down the stairs. "He doesn't look very well, Minty. What's wrong with him?" he whispered. "He's dead, Uncle Drac. " "Dead?" Uncle Drac suddenly looked as pale as Edmund. "He's a ghost, " I told him very patiently. "Now come on quick before Aunt Tabby sells the house and you have to start packing up all the bats. " "My bats. Where did you say my bats were, Minty?" "I didn't, Uncle Drac. Just hurry up, please. Both of you. "

  How I got Edmund and Uncle Drac down to the third-kitchen-on-the-right-just-around--118- the-corner-past-the-boiler-room I don't know. But I did. Everyone was sitting around the table, and Aunt Tabby was pouring some tea. "Ah, Drac, " said Aunt Tabby, looking up from the teapot. "I'm glad you're here. And Araminta. And, er--who's your friend, Q Araminta? He looks very pale. Would he like a hot drink?" "This is Edmund, " I told her. "And he wouldn't like anything, thank you. He's a ghost. " I looked around to see what effect that would have on the weird people, but they just gazed at Edmund and looked even more excited. "Oh how wonderful, " cooed the sunglasses woman. "A little boy ghost. He's so sweet.

  Hello, Edmund dear. " "Hello, " whispered Edmund. "Listen, Edmund, " I hissed, "`Hello' is just not good enough. Can't you manage a blood- curdling howl or something?" But Edmund didn't do anything. He just hovered by the door in a very boring and unscary way with a silly smile on his face. Being a ghost was wasted on Edmund, I thought. If I was a ghost, I'd have been howl- ing around the kitchen, screeching and hurl- ing all the things off the table--and that would have been just for starters. The small Wizzard person was grinning at Edmund, so I made my wide-mouth frog face at her. But she just giggled. And then something really weird happened. She picked up the glass of orange juice that Aunt Tabby -120- had just poured for her and suddenly it fizzed up over the glass and turned blue. For a moment I hoped that perhaps Aunt Tabby had had a change of heart and was trying to poi- son her, but the Wizzard man said, "Stop play- ing with your drink, Wanda. " Wanda clicked her fingers and changed it back to orange orange juice again. Show-off. Then she took four pet mice out of her pocket and put them on the table in front of her. The mice started doing handstands and cartwheels around her glass. Double show-off. Uncle Drac shuffled in past Edmund, and Aunt Tabby made him sit down next to her. "Drac dear, " said Aunt Tabby, "this is Brenda, Barry, and Wanda Wizzard, and they are going to buy our house. Isn't that lovely?" Uncle Drac didn't say anything. He was looking at me--in fact everyone was looking at me--so I turned my wide-mouth frog face into my cross-eyed wide-mouth frog face. Aunt Tabby sighed. "But as you can tell, Drac, Araminta's being a bit . . . Difficult. " "Wait a minute, Tabby, " mumbled Uncle Drac, blinking a bit. Uncle Drac has trouble seeing in the light, and sometimes I think he is like a great big bat himself. "Do we really have to sell the house?" he said.

  "Minty is very upset, and my bats are behaving very strangely. " "And so, "Aunt Tabby told him, "is the boiler. As usual. And I am not putting up with that boiler anymore, Drac. I mean it. " "Oh, dear, " mumbled Uncle Drac. I could see that Uncle Drac was going to let Aunt Tabby win--as usual--so I said, "Uncle Drac, you have to do something. Please. " "Do I?" he said, looking worried. "Yes, " I told him. "You do. " I sat down opposite him and looked at him. I didn't do a wide-mouth frog face or even a Fiendish Stare. I just looked at him like it was really important. Which it was. Uncle Drac coughed a bit and then he said, "Tabby dear, I am sorry about the boiler. I do realize I have neglected it recently and left you to do all the work. I know it wasn't fair, and I promise that from now on I will share the boiler cleaning--" "And the kindling chopping and the coal fetching, " put in Aunt Tabby. "Er, yes, and that too. " "And the emptying and the lighting and the--" "Yes, yes, I'll do that as well. " "Promise?" "Promise, " said good old Uncle Drac.

  Aunt Tabby sat down rather suddenly. "Well, " she said, "I've had some shocks today, Drac, but having you offer to share all the boiler work is the biggest one so far. " "Does that mean you're not going to sell the house?" I asked Aunt Tabby. "Yes, all right then, Araminta. " Aunt Tabby sighed. "I'm not going to sell the house. " "Ya-ay!" I yelled. "Oh, " mumbled the Wizzard people. "I'm very sorry, " Aunt Tabby told them, "but the house is not for sale anymore. Would you like another cup of tea?" "No, thank you, " said the Wizzard woman, sighing. "We had better be going. " About time, too, I thought--but she didn't get up. Instead she said, "Er, I couldn't help noticing that you had a model three with double ash bins and a reverse riddler.

  It is in fact one of the very rare B Series. " "A serious what?" asked Aunt Tabby. "Your boiler. I wondered if I could take a little peek at it before I go. They are very unusual nowadays, you know. " Aunt Tabby looked at the Wizzard woman like she was crazy, but she took her off to the boiler room even so. When they'd gone, Uncle Drac heaved himself out of his chair. "Must go and find all my bats, " he said. "Need any help?" asked the Wizzard man. "They can be difficult to catch on your own. " "Thanks, " said Uncle Drac, and he and the Wizzard man went off to find the bats. "I too must take my leave, " said Edmund, and he floated off through the kitchen wall.

  "'Bye Edmund, " said the show-off Wizzard girl. "Farewell, Wanda, " said Edmund's voice from somewhere inside the wall. That left me and the Wanda Wizzard girl together. "I could show you how to turn your orange juice blue if you like, " she offered. I thought she might as well. After all, you never know when a trick like that might come in handy, do you? So I said, "Okay. "

  Chapter Thirteen

 

  WANDA AND ARAMINTA

  W anda wasn't as bad as she looked. She showed me how to do blue orange juice fizz, and soon I had turned the tea and Uncle Drac's coffee blue as well and they were fizzing all over the place. But then Wanda said that she thought she ought to go. I said she could stay a bit longer and show me her mice doing handstands if she wanted, so we watched her mice do the Amazing Mouse Pyramid, which was pretty good.

  Then we heard an enormous smash from upstairs, and we rushed up to see what was happening. It was really funny. Wanda's dad, Barry, was swinging from the curtains trying to grab Big Bat, while Uncle Drac held a large net. Aunt Tabby's best vase was smashed on the floor. Oops. "Hey, Big Bat!" Uncle Drac was yelling. "Come here, Big Bat, there's a good bat!" Big Bat flew off, and Barry fell into the net. Wanda and I laughed so much that we fell onto the floor, but Barry and Uncle Drac looked cross, so I took Wanda upstairs to see all my bedrooms. Wanda thought they were great, as she only had one bedroom at her home and that was really, really tiny.

  After that, as Barry was still helping Uncle Drac catch Big Bat and Brenda was still look- ing at the boiler with Aunt Tabby, Wanda helped me put Sir Horace back together again. We cleaned off all the Jell-O and flour and polished him with some of Aunt Tabby's boiler polish. And we got his left foot back on properly. Once he was all back together, Sir Horace got up and stretched. "Gosh, that's done my back good, " he said, and he squeaked off and propped himself up in a corner of the hall. "He could do with some oil, " said Wanda. "I've got some stuff for my bike that would work really well. " "Can you ride a bike?" I asked her. I have always wanted to have a bike, but Aunt Tabby says they are dangerous.

  "Of course I can, " said Wanda. "I could teach you if you like. " I thought Wanda was turning out to be quite interesting, all things considered. Which is why, when Wanda's mom, Brenda, said, "Come on, Wanda, we really must go home now, " I said, "Can Wanda stay the night, Aunt Tabby? Can she? Please please please please please?" So Wanda stayed the night. And so did Brenda and Barry. Brenda wanted to get the boiler working properly, and Barry was still helping Uncle Drac catch Big Bat. They stayed th
e next night as well. And the next, and the next, and the next. And then, this morning, Aunt Tabby said that it was foolish for them to go home at all, unless they wanted to, and Brenda, Barry, and Wanda said no, they didn't really want to.

  So I don't mind at all now that Aunt Tabby decided to sell the house, because it is much more fun with Wanda here, and I found two ghosts--so now I know that I really do live in a haunted house, just like I always wanted.

  THE END